Civility

Peter H Christian
5 min read3 days ago

Civility costs nothing, and buys everything. That survival instinct, that will to live, that need to get back to life again, is more powerful than any consideration of taste, decency, politeness, manners, civility.

I have written before about Civility or the lack of such these days. My past article entitled, “The Demise of Civility and Reason?” is currently circulating on Medium.

In it I spoke of some personal examples of a lack of both of these things to me, personally. But the situation is far worse than what happened to me. It is happening daily and it affects each and every one of us in a number of ways.

It used to be that people of opposing views could discuss their differences in a relatively calm and reasonable manner. It was a discourse on ideas and the one that made the most sense tended to win. Not today. Now it is about getting personal with the opposing person and calling them names like racist, deplorable, Facist or the like. And sadly, it seems that the person doing the name calling seems to exhibit the exact traits they are labeling the other person with.

Ideas are now shut down, not listened to.

How many speakers have been shouted down by the mob or not even allowed to appear at a venue? Lots. So much for the exchange of ideas. No opposing views allowed. So, my ideas are very good and I will not allow you to express yours because people may actually agree with them and hate mine.

The strategy is to either shut down any speech or to name call with the intent to intimidate the other person. They then have to defend themselves and the argument itself is now totally lost. As I tell people who name call, “I gave that up in fourth grade. I am an adult now and don’t do those things”. Apparently they are still at the level, one I choose not to deal with, as you cannot reason with a child.

The popular name to be called is racist.

Today, everything is labeled racist. If that is true, then actually nothing is racist because it debases what racism is and who the racists really are. That is not to say that there aren’t racists. There are, sad as it is to say. And they live empty shallow lives hating others who are different from them.

They should be called out. Especially the sneaky ones who claim to love all of humanity. Then they do things that are in fact racist. Keeping people dependent upon them is about as racist as one can be. A non-racist person uplifts others and helps them to stand on their own two feet and to be the best they can be. And when in doing so they are called racist, that is just illogical and evil.

“Politeness and civility are the best capital ever invested in business. Large stores, gilt signs, flaming advertisements, will all prove unavailing if you or your employees treat your patrons abruptly. The truth is, the more kind and liberal a man is, the more generous will be the patronage bestowed upon him.” P. T. Barnum

Is this where we are at and will stay as a society? I certainly hope not. But the future does not look promising.

It is fine to allow a difference of opinion. That is how the best ideas are sorted out and the poor ones are discarded. But when one side dominates the discussion and all but bans the other side and its views, that is not good or healthy. That leads to dictatorships like we see in places like North Korea. God help us if we become like that.

So how do we deal with the current situation? Right now I would say the best way is to fight back. Fight fire with fire. One cannot be humble and gentle while be ravaged by the opposition. We must be tough and call the uncivil out for what and who they are.

Personally, I try my best through dialogue and response.

That only goes so far, because once the other person or persons have used up their talking points, it becomes that personal attack thing. There is no logic, just name calling and innuendos as to what and who I am. They are wrong, but can be quite vicious. At that point I just ignore them and cut them off from any further interaction.

“I think it is important that we rebuild an atmosphere of forgiveness and civility in every aspect of our lives.” — T. D. Jakes

It is my greatest hope that civility returns to us. Right now it doesn’t look good, but I can always hold out hope, Do your part and maybe, just maybe it will.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PETER CHRISTIAN

Peter H. Christian was a founding partner and president of espi, a business consulting firm in Northeastern PA. Previously he was an Executive at Crayola Corporation. He has worked with 300+ clients in business development, profit improvement, operations, IS selection and implementation, and Project Management. He has 40+ years of experience in strategic and facility planning, CI, lean, and supply chain. He has helped companies to realize millions of dollars in cost reductions and profit improvements adding and retaining thousands of jobs. He has authored the Amazon bestselling business books, “What About the Vermin Problem?” and “Influences and Influencers” (4 out of 4 star review on Online Bookclub) and is published in a variety of professional magazines. He is most appreciative of Dr. Rodney Ridley and Donald Schalk of the O’Pake Institute, Alvernia University for their support in allowing him to teach this important course

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Peter H Christian

Peter played a key role in the 700% growth of Crayola over 17 years. His first book, “What About the Vermin Problem?” is now an Amazon bestseller.