Helping Others
(Excerpted from my book, “Influences and Influencers)
“But even with the inspiration of others, it’s understandable that we sometimes think the world’s problems are so big that we can do little to help. On our own, we cannot end wars or wipe out injustice, but the cumulative impact of thousands of small acts of goodness can be bigger than we imagine.” Queen Elizabeth II, Christmas Message 2016
At some time or another in our lives we need help.
This may be for school, home healthcare after an accident, when we start a new job, as we launch a new business or improve an existing one. We look to those we trust or who have certain expertise to provide the assistance we need.
We expect they have the skills, knowledge, and experience to get us through whatever problem or situation we are experiencing at the time. Help comes in many ways. Such as:
▪ A loan.
▪ Contacting others to deliver services that are needed.
▪ Advice and/or counsel about what we may be doing wrong and establishing a course of correction.
▪ Heart-to-heart intervention to stop us from doing something that is, or may become, harmful to us.
Some help is given with no reciprocal action required. The person or persons helping us are doing so because they care about us and want us to succeed. In other instances, the assistance provided is more of a business transaction. There is some cost for the help, either through cash payments or a promise for some favor or action. Ideally, the person providing the help is concerned about the end result.
Sometimes help is given without us requesting it.
In those cases, the people closest to us see that we have a need they can fulfill, or we know someone who can. They offer us help without our asking because they are concerned and care about us. Usually, this is a family member, such as a spouse, parent, sibling, or child. They reach out to make sure we are OK and will remain so after the help is given.
Sometimes we need to ask for help, and when we do, we usually receive it. We know that something is not right or about to go wrong, so we seek out others who can help us. We ask friends, clergy, business associates, or specialists for help.
In my life, I had many people who helped me. This made a great impression on me and greatly influenced who I am and how I feel about helping others. The first to help me were my parents. That is not the case for many others. Unfortunately, not all parents are able, or willing, to provide guidance, money, or other assistance to their children. I was fortunate that my parents were both able and willing.
“Somewhere along the way, we must learn that there is nothing greater than to do something for others.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
My parents helped teach me right from wrong.
They were strict disciplinarians and corrected me when I erred. They didn’t let others pick on me but made sure that I wasn’t the cause for any problems that might have led to a confrontation with another person.
I learned that as long as I tried my best, there always was someone there to love and support me. And, if I ever slipped up, they reminded me that I needed to try harder if I wanted to achieve the results I desired.
Then I left the safety of my home and the people who loved and cared for me. I soon found there were others who would fill that space. As an undergraduate at Rutgers University, I had two people who greatly influenced my life.
The first was Dr. Frank Fornoff, my chemistry professor.
I was not a big fan of chemistry, having had some bad instructors and experiences in high school. Dr. Fornoff saw my dislike for the course. He showed me how to enjoy something I was not crazy about. While I didn’t come to love it, I saw how important it was to my major studies and how it applied to life.
I also learned that getting through something you aren’t fond of and doing well at it can be rewarding. It made studying and working at the things you really do like even easier. Dr. Fornoff also took an interest in me as a person.
After I had completed my chemistry studies with him, he stayed in regular contact. We would meet to talk about how my studies were going. He would give me advice about how to deal with any problems I was having at school, whether in the classroom or outside of it. His advice was always welcome and was received with gratitude. He taught me that helping others is not a one-time thing.
If you care about people, you are there for them on an ongoing basis. And you stay in touch because you never know when they might need help or just a pick-me-up from the day-to-day drudgery that sometimes occurs.
Another person who helped me as an undergraduate was Professor Alfred Kuebler, my department chair, and academic advisor.
It was expected that your advisor was there for counseling when you were having academic problems. That was not an issue for me. I was a good student. Professor Kuebler was there to just talk about things in general and to provide a boost to keep me going.
Unbeknownst to me, he was working on my behalf. In the second semester of my junior year, I received notification that I had received an academic scholarship that paid the tuition for that semester. And then, before my senior year, I received another notification that all of my tuition would be paid for the year. All of this was Professor Kuebler’s doing. I had no idea he was working on my behalf, something I am sure few if any, advisors did for their students.
As I started to look at graduate programs, I went to Professor Kuebler for advice about applying to Rutgers. I loved it there. While he said he would love to have me continue my studies at Rutgers, he felt that the graduate program wasn’t the best. He said that even if it was, it is best to go somewhere else and get a different perspective on learning. And, once I was done, I always had a home at Rutgers and would be welcomed back with open arms.
His care and concern for me is something I will never forget and will always cherish. He didn’t have to, but he had a profound influence on me and my life. To do that for others, even when not asked or required, is truly noble.
My graduate studies took me to Lehigh University.
It was a much different scene than Rutgers. Most of the graduate students had done their undergraduate work there, so they knew the professors well. I was an outsider. But the faculty immediately took me under their wings and treated me as if I was a Lehigh alum.
While everyone was terrific, two people really stood out. The first was the department chair, Professor George Kane. He was one of the nicest people I’d ever met. He always had time to talk about school or just about anything else. We spoke regularly and hit it off well.
I didn’t have any real problems to discuss until it was close to graduation. At that time, companies were interviewing students for jobs. I had signed up for several interviews, but with no success.
He contacted the department responsible for advertising company interviews, sharing information about the students, and setting up the appointments. It seems they had sent the wrong transcripts to the companies where I had applied. Instead of mine, they received the transcript of an undergraduate with the same last name. While I was at the top of the class, he was an average student who didn’t draw any interest from the companies to which I had applied.
When Professor Kane learned of this, he personally called the companies. He spoke to their recruiters, explained what had happened, and told them I definitely was worth interviewing. Because of his help, I landed interviews with six companies and received job offers from most of them.
Professor Kane didn’t have to do that. He could have said that what happened was just bad luck and wished me well. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he sprang into action to resolve a problem neither he nor I created. I learned that it is never too late to correct a problem, even one of someone else’s making
The second person who went above and beyond for me was my thesis advisor, Professor Wallace (Wally) Richardson.
He was a U.S. Navy veteran and a very distinguished productivity consultant. Professor Richardson was one of the most down-to-earth people I have ever met.
He was the most organized disorganized person I have ever met. His office was a desk and a collection of tables with piles of papers covering them all. What seemed to be chaos was actually very organized, at least for him. He would talk about a subject, reach into one of the stacks, and produce a document on that exact topic. What seemed like clutter to me was his filing system and he worked it perfectly.
I learned to appreciate people regardless of title or position. Respecting people for who they are and what they do is not based on rank. It is based on the person and how they handle themselves, no matter their job. If they do it well and are proud of what they do, that is the best thing.
I love honesty and directness. Wally taught me that. He loved teaching students who had work experience. He felt they could relate to him and his stories.
Professor Richardson taught me not only about engineering but life. I learned from him that if you are smart, there is no need to tell others you are. Those who are truly smart demonstrate it, and others recognize it. Those who aren’t as smart as they think are brag, even when they have no basis for doing so.
As I started my career at Binney and Smith, Bill Clymer became my mentor.
Bill was a very important person in the company. His time was always in demand. Many of the directors, vice presidents, the president, and board members met with him daily. With all that he had going on, he always set aside time for me, his new, inexperienced engineer. And he never rushed me or brushed me off.
At times. to give me the time I asked for, he would defer or even postpone another meeting. Only if he couldn’t put something off, would he not meet with me. But he made sure to schedule a time shortly after, so I never had to wait long to meet with him.
Bill always listened. He never interrupted me. He stopped me only to clarify what I was saying so he had a clear idea of the thought I was trying to get across. Only when I finished — or ran out of breath — would he then offer me his thoughts and opinions. If I had a good idea, he told me so. He might add some thoughts about how I could expand it or ideas to consider that could make it better.
He always encouraged me to find out for myself if the idea had legs. If not, he allowed me to find out for myself. In that way, it was a learning experience. Not only did I shelve it from further thought, but it made me think about future ideas. I then gave them more consideration before taking up his time to present them.
Bill also was concerned about the well-being of his charges, including me. One day he called me into his office. He started by apologizing, which took me aback because I didn’t know why. He had looked through my personnel records. When he looked at the salary, I was given to join the company, he felt that I had been severely under-compensated. He felt my pay was not commensurate with what I deserved.
So, he gave me an immediate raise, along with the apology, even though he had not been a part of that decision when I was brought aboard.
I tried to emulate Bill and his managerial style. I will admit, I have not always been successful. There are times I have blown my top at people. I have a face that gives away my disagreement and displeasure at people who intentionally do bad or stupid things. And sometimes I interrupt when I have something to add and don’t wait until the other person is finished. When I feel the conversation isn’t going to get any better, I’m sometimes inclined to stop it and move on.
Another person at Crayola, who helped me succeed was Terry Schmoyer.
Although I didn’t report directly to Terry, he provided guidance and mentored me throughout his career there. Terry saw my abilities in working with Bill Clymer. He created a new position for me as a project manager doing the planning for equipment and facilities. He continued to guide me through a number of promotions until I eventually became a director.
Terry gave me a tremendous amount of latitude to accomplish my tasks. He told me that, in return, I was not to make mistakes or cause problems for him. But, if I did, I was to clean up the mess as quickly and completely as possible. I never let him down.
Terry eventually succumbed to the politics of the company. Even after he was dismissed, he stayed in touch and we talked regularly. He continued to guide me and gave advice about how to work with the power structure, especially those who cost him his job. I learned much from Terry regarding managing people and situations. It helped me become a better manager for my team members as I allowed them to grow and become successful without micromanaging.
Alfred Kuebler. George Kane. Wally Richardson. Bill Clymer. Terry Schmoyer.
These were the people who most influenced my academic and professional growth and helped me develop my approach to business, in particular, and life, in general.
Both are very connected. Situations that occur in one certainly occur in the other. People are people regardless of the circumstances. How you deal with them — personally and professionally — is the same. The outcomes may be different, but the process is almost exact. We all have people in our lives who help us.
Sometimes we don’t realize or appreciate the help, especially when they tell us what we need to hear instead of what we want to hear. We want sympathy when empathy is the order of the day. But if we step back and realize that what they are telling us is to help us through the situation and to move ahead, that is what is important.
We do not have to take every piece of advice they offer. As in every life circumstance, we need to pick and choose. But we do need to consider all possibilities before dismissing anything out of hand. We do not want \ to miss an important nugget that might make a difference not only now but in the future.
The help I received and the lessons I learned have shaped who I am and how I think and act. I frequently think about the people I mentioned earlier. I remember what they told me and I share it with others. I always give them the credit they deserve for dispensing their wisdom and counseling me. I am ever-so-grateful they cared about me, and I honor them by trying to help others. And always remember:
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Peter H. Christian was a founding partner and president of espi, a business consulting firm in Northeastern PA. Previously he was an Executive at Crayola Corporation. He has worked with 300+ clients in business development, profit improvement, operations, IS selection and implementation, and Project Management. He has 40+ years of experience in strategic and facility planning, CI, lean, and supply chain. He has helped companies to realize millions of dollars in cost reductions and profit improvements adding and retaining thousands of jobs. He has authored the Amazon bestselling business books, “What About the Vermin Problem?” and “Influences and Influencers” (4 out of 4 star review on Online Bookclub) and is published in a variety of professional magazines.
