Parents
“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” — Oscar Wilde
Parents. What would we do without them?
Little, as they are the reason we are here in the first place.
My parents were good honest people. My father was a little college educated, but he never finished. He studied architecture while working and got his license after completing a year of study at NYU. He never completed his studies.
My mother was a stay at home mom. She had worked as a secretary before she and my dad married. But once they started their family, she stayed at home to take care of their home and my sister and I.
They were caring in their own way.
They were not demonstrative in their affection for us. They certainly cared about us and our wellbeing. They didn’t spoil us. Everything we got, we earned. At times that made us envious of others around us, but it helped to shape our characters and realize that when you earn something you value it more than when it is just handed to you. My wife and I passed that on to our kids who are doing the same with theirs.
“My parents loved us but I wasn’t always sure they liked us.” –Tahereh Maf
I wasn’t the easiest child growing up.
I definitely had my own mind and ways of doing things. I am sure I created some interesting moments for my parents. While I was good in school. I really hated attending it. Whenever I had the chance to feign sickness to stay home, I did. I think my parents knew I wasn’t really sick, but they decided not to fight me and so I got to stay home. I didn’t overdo it, but I got my fair share of time off.
I was big time into sports.
My father was extremely supportive of that. He spent many hours playing catch and running me ragged chasing baseballs in order to improve my running and catching abilities. He always attended my baseball games. And when I changed from baseball to basketball, he and my grandfather attended all of my games.
My mom was not into sports at all. She didn’t go to one game that I can remember. When I got home, she always asked how I did while showing some interest in what I told her. While I wished she had attended, I knew she really didn’t like sports and I had my father and grandfather there so all was good.
My wife never understood that. She made sure that both of us attended all of our kid’s activities including band, dance, baseball, softball, track and field, cross country and judo. They always knew we were there to support them. I am sure when the grandkids get into their activities she will want to be front and center there as well.
My father could be very demanding and wanted me to be the best I could be in everything.
He had a strange way of challenging me. Once he told me that I would never be as smart as he was. That hurt. He told me later that it was his way of challenging me to be better. I cannot say if I ever became smarter but it certainly made me try harder, if nothing other than to prove him wrong..
In my first year in college, we had finals after Christmas.
So I got to go home for a week and then go back for finals. During that time, I spent about 40 hours studying. My father didn’t feel that was enough and threatened to pull me out of school. I wound up on the honor roll, something I was on every semester. Yet that was only satisfactory for him and the threat continued to scare the daylights out of me.
“We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.” –Henry Ward Beecher
I completed my undergraduate schooling with the highest honors. I then went to grad school. My parents didn’t have to pay anything but each month they gave me a little stipend to help with living expenses. There were no threats about pulling me out of school anymore.
After graduation I got married to my college sweetheart.
My parents visited us on occasion and were supportive when we bought our first house. They lent us money for the down payment which we quickly paid back.
They were good grandparents to our children. We wished they would have moved closer to be with them more, but they were die hard New Yorkers and wouldn’t move even after all of their friends and family did.
We finally convinced them to move, but my father died before they did so. We moved my mother to a great retirement home where she lived out the rest of her life. I attended to her and her finances so she never had a worry.
They were good, solid parents. Not the storybook kind but honest and caring. They were supportive and loving in their own way and gave me a solid footing in life. I hope that my children feel the same about myself and my wife. We are there for them and their kids and hopefully they will be the same with theirs.
There is no real book on how to be a good parent. You do your best and hope for the best. In the end you know that you did and gave it your best.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Peter H. Christian was a founding partner and president of espi, a business consulting firm in Northeastern PA. Previously he was an Executive at Crayola Corporation. He has worked with 300+ clients in business development, profit improvement, operations, IS selection and implementation, and Project Management. He has 40+ years of experience in strategic and facility planning, CI, lean, and supply chain. He has helped companies to realize millions of dollars in cost reductions and profit improvements adding and retaining thousands of jobs. He has authored the Amazon bestselling business books, “What About the Vermin Problem?” and “Influences and Influencers” (4 out of 4 star review on Online Bookclub) and is published in a variety of professional magazines. He is most appreciative of Dr. Rodney Ridley and Donald Schalk of the O’Pake Institute, Alvernia University for their support in allowing him to teach this important course
