Regrets — None Here
Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again too few to mention I did what I had to do. I saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway. And more, much, much more I did it, I did it my way — Frank Sinatra
I was at dinner one night with a client.
We had finished the workday and were talking about non work, general things in our lives. At one point, he stopped and asked me, “Do you regret anything in your life?” I thought about it and without a moment’s hesitation, I emphatically replied, “No”.
Sure there were things in my life that did not turn out how I wanted them to at the time. We all have those things. Nothing goes perfectly or according to plan. But we adapt and move on. And things ultimately have a way of working out.
If I look back, there were certainly tests in my life. High school for instance. In New York City, there are some specialized high schools. Brooklyn Technical is one of them. To get in, you have to pass an entrance exam and only 1,500 students are selected each year to attend.
At the time, it was a boys only school.
Girls were only allowed in my senior year. Concentration was on science and engineering and if you survived all 4 years you wound up going to a pretty good if not a great college.
The high school is located in Ft, Greene, Brooklyn. At the time it was not a nice area. In fact, I was mugged there one day when I got out early and was on the street by myself. It was like being attacked by a school of piranha. They took my money and transportation pass. Fortunately I wasn’t hurt, but it made me never travel alone again.
Because of that I never participated in after school activities. When I hear about others who had a great time in their high school days, I am a bit jealous. My experience was attendance and home. No great activities to talk about. I filled that in with my own activities in the neighborhood, including my passion, basketball. I was in a very competitive church league and played against many NYC high school players.
Then there was college.
I had heard about this terrific school, Stevens Institute of Technology located in Hoboken, NJ. It had a great reputation, was close to my home and I had the possibility to play for their basketball team. I interviewed with them my junior year in high school and had an early acceptance. I was stoked.
But my parents had other ideas. It was a private school so it cost more to go there and scholarships weren’t plentiful in those days. Even though I graduated sixth in my class, my father made too much money, just not enough to afford sending me there or to get the needed scholarships to attend.
He was an architect and was doing quite a bit of work at Rutgers University, the State University of New Jersey. I went to meetings with him many times and we then played golf there afterwards. He convinced me to apply, which I did and was accepted, a big deal for an out of stater.
I had a great 4 years there.
I graduated 10th in my Engineering class and first in the Industrial Engineering class. I received scholarships that covered all of my tuition and expenses for half of my junior year and all of my senior year. And most of all I met my best friend there, Sharon, who I married 3 years later. None of that would have happened if I had gone to Stevens U.
My love life was an evolution in progress.
If the Ice Age was slow and cold, so was it. Going to an all-boys high school didn’t help. There were few girls living around us and I was big time into sports. No real time for girls.
When I did finally show an interest, it was slow and awkward. I knew how to talk to the guys, but girls not so much so. I skipped some mixed parties and rued it because I failed to meet a girl I became interested in. However, she met one of my friends at the party I missed and they started dating. I could only watch her from afar.
Then, they broke up. Now was my chance. We dated once or twice, but then she told me that I reminded her of my friend and it wasn’t going to work out. So we parted ways.
I went off to college and would see her on the street or with her new boyfriend at times when I was home. I held out hope that we would get together again, but it just never happened.
In college I had a few dates, but was really focused on my studies.
Senior year I dated a few girls and then one special young lady (Sharon Kane) entered my life. She dated others too, but then somehow we came together. She was my biggest cheerleader and we get together. She was only a freshman and I was a senior. I went to another school (Lehigh University) for grad work. But we spent every weekend for the next 3 years together.
We married the year she graduated and have been together for 44 years, 48 if you count dating years. With her I have had a great life. She is and will always be my best friend. She and I have 3 great children who in turn have given us three equally great grandchildren. No regrets here, only joy. Can’t imagine life without her.
On to the working world. That too has had its ups and downs.
First was getting a job. It was harder than it had to be. I was a really good student, worked in engineering companies every break since high school and had a really good extracurricular record. Yet, I was having trouble getting interviews.
When I went to the Placement office, I found out that they were handing out someone else’s resume instead of mine for possible interviews. He was an average student while I was top of my class. My professors were fit to be tied and worked to get me as many interviews as they could. I did well with them and had 5 job offers to choose from.
I really wanted to stay close to my future wife who was now my fiancée.
But my 2 favorite companies wanted to go to places I didn’t want to go to. I accepted a job in the Lehigh Valley where I was located. It was an hour plus away from Sharon, but beat being a thousand miles away.
My first job was good. I made many friends and did really well. My boss however held me back from being promoted to other departments. When I found out, I went to HR and found that they are really not there to help with issues such as that. So it was time to move on. My old department grew and some of my friends did well. But then, things collapsed and most left for other companies or to start their own businesses.
Meantime I was doing well in my new company. In the end, moving on made a lot of sense.
My time at Crayola had its ups and downs.
Nothing seemed to come easily for me. I was always in there pitching to do more and to get promoted. I had a lot of people in my corner, but I also had my detractors.
I had some great mentoring which helped me professionally. But I also had one of the worst bosses one could have. I thought he was going to fire me when instead I got a promotion. How wrong we can be sometimes.
I got to the Director level, but couldn’t quite make the “C” suite. I wanted to be a Vice President, but it just wasn’t in the cards. I made a big enemy in the Vice President of Crayola, even though I served him well. I tangled with one of his pets (Who later got fired), but that was enough to get me on his bad side.
Eventually, that led to us agreeing it was time to part ways. I left many good friends and a great experience as I got to do and accomplish many things for what I still feel was and is a great company.
As I looked around for my next opportunity, I met with many people.
This worked out well, as many became clients when I decided to go into consulting. I started doing that with Lehigh University as a part time thing to fill time until I could find the right spot. That ultimately turned out to be starting my own business with 5 others and becoming the preeminent consulting firm (espi) in Northeast Pennsylvania.
I was able to work with many companies in many industries. While most of the work covered Northeastern PA, we also did national and international work. I even did a number of gigs with of all places, Crayola.
And, I got my dream of becoming a top company executive. I was elected president of my company and served in that role for 17 years. I was also able to spend more family time and work my schedule around the kids and wife, something that would have been difficult in the corporate world. And I made lots of money and built an outstanding company, still going strong after my retirement.
I don’t regret what I’ve been through. I’ve had ups and downs, super highs and some really low lows. I’ve been so blessed that I could never say, ‘I wish this didn’t happen.’ It’s part of who I am. There’s nothing in my life that’s so ugh. Jennifer Lopez
As you can see nothing in life is perfect, including in my own.
There are things I thought I would be doing that didn’t work out and things I am doing I never imagined.
I didn’t go to the school of my choice. But I went to a really good two, Rutgers and Lehigh. I didn’t become a “C” suite executive at a public and then private company, but I co-founded and ran a very successful company for 17 years.
I met and married my best friend and the love of my life. I have 3 great children and 3 great grandchildren.
I live in a great place (Florida, West coast) and am very active in my retirement.
So going back to my conversation with my client, “I have no regrets”. Life is not a sure thing. It is what you make of it and the choices it presents you. Do that and you should have no regrets either.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Peter H. Christian was a founding partner and president of espi, a business consulting firm in Northeastern PA. Previously he was an Executive at Crayola Corporation. He has worked with 300+ clients in business development, profit improvement, operations, IS selection and implementation, and Project Management. He has 40+ years of experience in strategic and facility planning, CI, lean, and supply chain. He has helped companies to realize millions of dollars in cost reductions and profit improvements adding and retaining thousands of jobs. He has authored the Amazon bestselling business books, “What About the Vermin Problem?” and “Influences and Influencers” (4 out of 4 star review on Online Bookclub) and is published in a variety of professional magazines. He is most appreciative of Dr. Rodney Ridley and Donald Schalk of the O’Pake Institute, Alvernia University for their support in allowing him to teach this important course.
