To deny your feelings is wrong and harmful. And being grateful for something else is not genuine. Each instance is of its own. While you need to deal with the pain, you need to do so and move on. But to cover it with things could be worse or be thankful for what you have is to ignore the real issue and deal with it. Kind of like 1 of 20 family members dies. And someone tells you that at least you have 19 others. That doesn't take away the pain of losing one. As you deal with it, you will come to grips and move on. And then you can appreciate the time with that person and enjoy and love the other 19. But you are allowed to and should grieve. We try our best to cheer others up. Sometimes it is best to just be there and say nothing. For that we will be grateful.