We should be influencers, not controllers. If we try to control others or do for them, we are not being helpful, but rather destructive. I had a person in his 50s who couldn’t write a coherent sentence. I asked him how he got so far in his career and he told me his managers always wrote his reports for him. I told him this manager didn’t. They had hurt, not helped him. I got him a tutor to teach him to write at 50 plus years old. It made me glad for him and sad about what others did to him.