White Lies
“When we tell little white lies, we become progressively color-blind. It is better to remain silent than to mislead. James E. Faust
But it was just a little white lie.
To me a lie is a lie. There is really no differentiation between a big lie and a little one. A lie is a lie no matter how you pose it.
A little white lie is considered by some to be minor, polite, or harmless and is told to avoid hurting someone or to maintain social niceties. People tell white lies to supposedly avoid causing someone emotional damage or to keep themselves out of trouble. However, white lies can be damaging both to the teller and the person being lied about.
So why do we tell lies, either big or small (The little white ones)? There are a variety of reasons:
· To avoid punishment: We know we did something wrong. We fear being punished for it. So we tell a lie in the hope that we will get off the hook.
· To obtain a reward: By making a false claim, we might get that job we wanted. Or perhaps there is some special reward to be claimed for doing something right or well.
· To protect others: We try to protect someone else who may have done something wrong to keep them from being punished for it. So we cover it up in the hope that they will not be.
· To maintain privacy: We do not want someone or maybe anyone from getting details we do not want them to have. So we lie in the hope they will not learn the details we wish to keep from them.
· To avoid embarrassment: There may be some embarrassing thing or things we wish to keep quiet about. We lie in order to keep others from learning the truth.
· To be polite: We do not want to hurt someone’s feelings,. Like that dress looks bad on you or you never looked worse. So we lie to keep from hurting their feelings.
· To protect ourselves: We feel that if people learn the truth about us or some situation, it may cause harm to us. So we lie to keep them from learning the truth and causing a confrontation.
· For the thrill of it: Some people lie for the sheer thrill of getting away with the lie. Sounds crazy, but it happens.
“Little white lies are told by humans all the time. Indeed, lying is often how we get through each day in a happy little bubble. We spend time and energy rationalizing our own behaviors, beliefs and decision-making processes. Barry Ritholtz
I have to admit that I have told lies in my lifetime.
Probably we all have. And I have done some for most of the reason listed above. I am not proud of doing so, but it has happened. I do my best to not do so anymore. I feel it is better to stay silent than to either tell the truth which hurts someone or gets me in trouble or to tell a lie, even a little white one and feel bad later for doing so.
So, what is the right thing to do? We each have our own thoughts on that. Is lying good or acceptable? Probably not. But then hurting someone’s feelings for no good reason isn’t either. Letting them think that everything is ok when it isn’t is not good either. I am not sure that there is a good answer to this. I suppose it depends upon the circumstances and our best judgement at the time. It is easy to judge others when it isn’t our own necks or reputation on the line.
I leave you with no clear cut answer to whether telling a white lie is ok. This is more to get you thinking about it and deciding for yourself. Whatever you decide, I hope that it all works out for you.
“A degree of lying — you know, white lies — seems to be inherent in all languages and all forms of communication.” Matthew Lesko
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Peter H. Christian was a founding partner and president of espi, a business consulting firm in Northeastern PA. Previously he was an Executive at Crayola Corporation. He has worked with 300+ clients in business development, profit improvement, operations, IS selection and implementation, and Project Management. He has 40+ years of experience in strategic and facility planning, CI, lean, and supply chain. He has helped companies to realize millions of dollars in cost reductions and profit improvements adding and retaining thousands of jobs. He has authored the Amazon bestselling business books, “What About the Vermin Problem?” and “Influences and Influencers” (4 out of 4 star review on Online Bookclub) and is published in a variety of professional magazines. He is most appreciative of Dr. Rodney Ridley and Donald Schalk of the O’Pake Institute, Alvernia University for their support in allowing him to teach this important course
